I'm bored I miss being in Idaho Falls. I feel like I accomplished almost nothing while I was there. I mean I got my tattoo which was cool and all but otherwise I kind of wonder why i bothered to come home.
Megan and I hung out today. She's such a nice girl and everything. Well devoted christian while still being able to be a punk. Her b/f is a very lucky person I must say. *chuckle* Life sucks in that aspect. Everyone that I feel that I could grow close to is taken. I'm starting to just hate it again.
I miss the formalness of having a g/f. Knowing that the second they see you they're going to jump in your arms and give you a nice hug with a possible kiss. Ahhh kissing. *sigh* I guess the two main things that I liked about getting my tattoo was that Maren was there and I felt like I needed to see myself bleed again.
"Oh happy dagger...." lol fuck that. I hate that feeling like I cant be that one person for someone. Maybe hoping I'm just the guy that got away that should of never been let go. Fucking stupid and pointless thoughts though. Stupid bleeding heart shit. Why do I feel the need to write this down anyway?
Sorry for wasting anyone's time with this.
Funny I can almost hear Rhys's famous words "kill yourself." Not yet I have more to accomplish before I can die. I need a better reason rather then it's easier.
I guess I'll post all my reasons for why I have a Nautical Star on my shoulder. Some knights used to glyph it on their sheilds symbolising the 5 knightly virtues generosity, courtesy, chastity, chivalry and piety.
morality with respect to sexual relations - Chastity
A code of behavior based on courtesy and honor, courtesy towards women - Chivalry
The virtue of acting in devotion, duty, and worship to God, is called Piety. (While I'm not an active church goer anymore I still grew up as a church boy and believe in God. I still pray to him and believe. I dont believe I need to go to church to believe.)
truth' to the Gentiles had as it's symbol the five pointed star.
Early Christians attributed the five pointed star to the Five Wounds of Christ and from then until medieval times, it was a lesser-used Christian symbol. Prior to the time of the Inquisition, there were no 'evil' associations to the five pointed star. Rather it's form implied Truth, religious mysticism and the work of The Creator.
In Medieval times, the 'Endless Knot' (pentagram) was a symbol of Truth and was a protection against demons. It was used as an amulet of personal protection and to guard windows and doors. (granted mine is not a pentegram but it still is a five pointed star)
There are many more meanings as well. But the knightly virtues one was my main reason.